i WISH..

DAMN HOW DO I START THIS OFF???? when it comes to YOU i wanna smile and then other times i don't. We were good but now it's like blank . It's crazy how things changed due a lack of communication right in a matter of days?? You got on me b/c of that but then when i make effort it's like okay, but then again there was a reason why it was like like that right. iounoooo man am i even making sense???

soo i hate feeling like this i hate when i have to hide my feelings; not being able to say what i wanna say. why can't we be a little bit closer?? ughh i wish we were it would make everything so much MORE EASIER!!! grrr this feeling sucks like i HATE it soo much i wanna cry!!! haha ok not really but damnn i WISH i could call you and tell you everything i wanna say without any hesitition with out being scared or anything. i WISH i could call you out of the blue while not feeling any kinda way. i WISH we talked more like we used to but idk things changed and when we talk i wanna have like good conversations like deep ones, meaningfull ones. ummmm i WISH you weren't so busy all the time but i know that's not always your fault sooo. I WISH i could be extra up front with you i know it's been like 4 or 5 weeks (has it been more) but usually that's enough time for me, it's just differnet when it comes to YOU and i don't like it!!!!! UGHHHHHHH IT'S ANNOYING! it makes me mad when YOU don't text me and i think you feel the same way too, but im not to sure. i HATE that i don't really know what your thinking, or that i may think i know but i'll NEVER know if i'm right or not simply b/c we never speak on stuff like that. I HATE how when we text i can't really like sound you out. like most of the people i can figure out their tone when we're texting but ay you it's different. That's probally because we don't really talk on the phone as much as i wish we did but we knowwww how that goes. i WISH that i could ask you certain things and not worry about if whatever i'm asking you is too much like does your myspace status have meaning behind it or are did you just put it up there cause you thought what kanye said was cool??? i WISH you told me thingss, like you do but MORE like I WANT TO KNOW what people were doing that made you mad i wanna know about your day FULL DETAIL i wanna know what your REALLY doing even if it's staring at the wall. Am i wanting to know too muchh??? ehh don't think so but i could be wrong. i WISH that when we talk i don't have to be the one always asking questions to keep the conversation going. there's so much more that i could say but i just don't feel like it rightnow. maybe another day when you make me feel like this i'll say more but until then . . .

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