I just wanna talk to somebody
Not necessairly talkingg talkingg, but like i wanna have someone i could just talk to and they understand me and where i'm coming from and they listen to me.
I used to have someone like that, but stuff happens of course. I miss that person SO much. Like us two could be on the phone from like 11 a.m. to freaking 6 a.m. the next day. All we would do is just talk. Talk about anything and everything. I would tell him things, and he would just listen.. and add his 2cents. He would also tell me things and i would add w/e also. Like i MISS him SO much. The fact that i can't talk to that person anymore, hurts soo much.
Yesterday i was doing nothing like all day
.. Lord knows how bad i wanted to dial that number, too bad i couldn't
Why? that's a WHOLE 'NOTHER STORY.
I just wish i could replace him w/ someone else, but that sounds way easier than it really is.
I think that has to do with me also. Like i'm really funny and friendly and stuff but like underneath i'm really deep and passionate. I don't expose that side of me so much though cause i just don't really get close to people like that. I mean there's some ppl who i'm really close to and i'd tell everything to. But like i've known those ppl since i was like2 so that's different. Like the person I was talking about in the beginning we started becoming cool in like May and it was like I knew him my whole life, we just connected.
I really wish it could be the same way w/ someone else, but i don't know. That was like my comfort zone, nobody can like make me feel so comfortable to just tell them everything, and like not many people can me feel ok to just be myself 100%
..And I HATE that. Maybe i need to stop being so guarded so i can get what i want..
Which is what i was saying i want earlier in this post. I'm just not used to being like that though, so it's kinda hard. I'm not the type of person who would sit down and get into a deep conversation like that. I don't know why i'm like that though b/c i LOVE deep, meaningfull conversations.
Maybe I need to work on that, yeaaa i think do.
..Times when i feel like this i just listen to slow love songg :(